Dog Whisperer For A Day

You can't deny that you love him. I do. I admire anyone that cracks a code, looks beyond the naked eye, and can interpret subconscious desires. It is awe inspiring. Something I aspire to. Cesar Milan, AKA The Dog Whisperer, may be the second coming of Christ, here to balance the dogs because we humans are a lost cause. Maybe Jesus had it wrong the first time around. Besides, any species that walks behind another picking up its droppings is clearly not in control. So who’s mastering who?

I wish I could bring Cesar to work with me to balance the pack of trainers that run aimlessly around BSC, me included. I think he would agree that our current pack leader, an English bulldog, has been given power he doesn't understand. He is what Cesar would call: Insecure Dominant, the type that ends up squashed under the wheel of a car, either hit because of overexcitement or because he was pushed; no one cares to ascertain which.

Marykay is best described as a Yorkie. Submissive, almost to her detriment, but not because she's weak; she lacks confidence. When she breaks out of her shell she'll topple any sized Alpha male and assume leadership of the entire pack.

Alex is the resident, oversexed, Rottweiler. Once he grabs hold of your leg, it's best to just let him finish, otherwise you'll have one cranky Rottie on your hands and that's everyone’s problem.

Chad is a Lab. Loyal, highly intelligent, seemingly balanced, but periodically gets into his bag of dog food and eats the whole thing.

Pete is a pit bull who Cesar would call a red zone case, too aggressive to train. For the good of the pack we'd have to put poor Pete down before he kills us all.

Cori’s one of those unique hybrids with the intelligence of a Border Collie and the drive of a Husky. But the duality makes her chase her tail incessantly. Even after she catches it, she'll try again, expecting a different result.

Angelica is an Afghan, bred for show. A hopeless flirt, she devastates the pack with her glare that says, "Sniff it if you want, but mount me and I'll end you."

Tim is a Duck that doesn’t know he’s not a dog. The pack accepts him as one of its own but only because it’s our nature, and in times of famine, we’ll look to young Tim for sustenance.

And me, I’m best described as an old mutt, one of those dogs that gets himself into trouble if I'm not exercised enough. I’ve done serious pound time and new tricks seem to evade this old dog. This post is a perfect example.

Maybe I should get in line behind Pete.