What attracts me to shows like Breaking Bad? Rachel asks constantly about my infatuation with characters who tread the line between savior and wretch. I argue that it's the superb writing, or the depth of character that ensnares me, but it's more...
Following a diagnosis of advanced lung cancer, Walt starts a meth lab to stockpile cash for his family before he dies. What ensues is an exploration of a man who reaps all the rewards crime has to offer, without the consequence. It's the consequences that make the show so compelling.
I watch the show, and others like it, with a unique eye. I've been there. From this perspective, the show rings true. The writers must be ex-drug dealers to write with such realism.
I can write this, I tell myself.
Where would I start? From experience. A show about a father and two sons robbing jewelry stores might make compelling television. Walt is desperate. Dad wasn't. Walt is virtuous and tainted by the trade. We were just tainted. Walt does what he does for his family, feels regret, and knows what he's doing is wrong. Dad would do it again.
I watch Walt in hopes of understanding Dad. At sentencing, the judge said: This concludes a bizarre series of crimes that I am still unable to fully understand. It is really quite extraordinary, and very, very sad. How as a father you could have involved your sons in this is beyond my capacity as a father to comprehend. But we all have choices in this world. And you are going to live with yours for a long time. I wonder if my father thinks about his legacy and what he'll leave behind. A treasure map? Maybe I can write the next Indiana Jones.
Maybe the writers of Breaking Bad can weave some sympathy into Dad. It might take an overhaul, a sex change, and fifty one flashbacks to get there, but I'm willing to bend if they are.
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