They didn't die as much as they're in the process of decomposing. I'm talking about Rachel's Housefit, a designation more than a name for the clothes I don every time we return from 'Out.' The fact that 'In' has its own attire is due to the fact that 'In' is always preferable to 'Out' in my estimation and should be celebrated with clothing that reflects the mood. Housefits need to be relaxed, (Editor's note: The word relaxed here refers to the fabric. Relaxing would surely fit better, but in terms of fabric, the fibers must be in a constant relaxed state, either by design, or age, the latter being preferable).
The original Housefit started with pajama pants I picked up at TJ Maxx. We weren't shopping for them, but low and behold, on the sales rack, for just $10, was a pair of blue cotton jammie pants I just had to have. We discovered the reason they were a sale item after walking to the Salem Willows one summer night. The fly, held together by a single button, lent itself to random 'exposures.' We jokingly started calling them the Wenie pants (Wenie because I spelled weenie like genie in a text to Rachel). So unpredictable were these pants that we had to warn unsuspecting company that they might see more than they bargained for.
The Housefit caught on. Soon enough Rachel was wearing hers, a long sleeve T swiped from my closet and a pair of light blue pants with rubber duckies everywhere. They were the pants she wore on our first date, after she was canceled from a night shift at work (A shift I suspect to this day was orchestrated to bow out if the date was a bust). We went back to my place, changed into Housefits, and watched dumb comedies all night.
A few weeks ago she pointed out holes in the crotch, a looser, weakening waistband, and faded, pale ducks. Sewing was suggested as an option to prolong the iconic half of the legendary Housefit much the way stitching was proposed to keep Frankenstein together, but then yesterday, she sat down and tore a four inch hole in the ass. With the discovery of even more breaches, it was decided to lay them to rest.
Reverend Austin, now living with us, wears a pair of black sweats, long sleeved green T with regular T underneath, "For temperature control."
Do you have a Housefit? Please share...
1 comment:
During the winter I wear any t-shirt and these pajama pants that are capri style. I am told they would be normal on a regular man, but my legs are just long.
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